


hang all the mistletoe, i’m gonna get to know you better (this christmas)

by soran_rising



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Slow-ish burn, holiday™ edition, set every offseason
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:41:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21876538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soran_rising/pseuds/soran_rising
Summary: Some might call Kelley crazy—and the truth is, she is a little—but rather than backing off or shying away or doing what most normal people might do in this scenario, Kelley doubles down, working her arm around Emily’s back, pulling her down to spoon her.She needs to work her way through this desire to have Emily close. Indulge a bit. Show herself that underneath what seemed like a sexual desire was really a very platonic desire to have Emily closer. As friends.“What are you doing?” Emily whispers.And Emily, well, she smells amazing. She’s got an arm under Emily’s head and she can feel Emily breathing softly against it. Those breaths send shivers up her spine, stirring something in her gut, and without fully realizing it, Kelley finds herself biting her lip.So yeah, that backfired.OR:Five times Kelley felt like shit for lusting after Sonnett… and one time she didn’t have to.
Relationships: Kelley O'Hara/Emily Sonnett
Comments: 70
Kudos: 209





	1. i saw your face and i knew it was a sign

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Holladay Street (street)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/street/gifts), [Sonnshine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonnshine/gifts).

> hey y’all, this set of holiday (ish) drabbles is my christmas gift to you. i’ll be posting one a day for the next week! holladay street, sonnshine, and i talked about this once, so this is dedicated to them ☺ 
> 
> this didn’t turn out as smutty as the prompt would make it out to be… so… sorry? i personally love it. even if this chapter made me doubt my own ability to spell the word “umbrella”. 
> 
> chapter title taken from maggie rogers' song "long you for a long time", which is now a holiday song because really it's an /everyday/ song. 
> 
> things will only get more holiday themed from here, so… get ready. 
> 
> if you enjoy it, please leave a comment or come beat me over the head on twitter @redacted_rising

It’s not the first time they’ve met.

It might be the first time they’ve spent any real time together—Kelley doesn’t fully know. She isn’t thinking about it that way, doesn’t see the night as having any real significance. It’s literally just a team dinner while training at a January Camp. 

Of course it’s raining in LA, which is a little out of the ordinary. She and Tobin have already decided they’re walking to the restaurant, which is only like 15 minutes away. She knows before she even texts Tobin that Alex won’t join her—she’ll still be up in the room getting ready, preferring to Uber because she hates rain—but she finds she’s annoyed anyway. Alex always pulls shit like this: picking the venue and then arriving late like a goddamn princess.

And Kelley’s already mostly over her little disagreement with Alex by the time she’s made it down to the lobby. But then she arrives to find Tobin with a whole group of people she doesn’t remember texting, and finds herself annoyed all over again—can’t people just like, stick to plans?

Tobin’s laughing at something Lindsey Horan is saying and behind Lindsey are a few other newbies Kelley doesn’t know super well yet: Sam Mewis, Rose Lavelle, and Emily Sonnett.

Most of the crew looks considerably more prepared for rain than she does—boots, jackets, umbrellas—and Kelley briefly considers going back upstairs for her jacket before just deciding she’s gonna tough it out.

It’s California. She’s not gonna like, die.

“Ready?” She says, hand on one hip. The group starts moving without answering her question, and Sam gives her a look up and down before asking, “is that all you’re wearing?”

“Eh.” Kelley shrugs, following them out the door. The rain isn’t particularly strong, and her long sleeve shirt is more than enough to feel comfortable.

“You can share my umbrella.” Emily Sonnett mumbles out. She gives Kelley a look that feels almost shy, and immediately Kelley is sold. Staying out of the rain? Check. Helping a rookie come out of her shell? Also check.

“Awesome. Thank you.” Kelley gives Emily a smile, slipping under the umbrella and linking an arm with hers. She feels Emily tense a bit at the contact (not a hugger?) but then she sort of settles into it, and before long she’s falling into step with Kelley.

The team begins the walk to the restaurant, Tobin and Lindsey leading the way with Emily and Kelley trailing behind. Kelley and Emily have settled into a silence Kelley finds a little strange—from what she can tell Emily’s usually pretty loud, at least with people she knows.

It feels a little like an awkward first date, so Kelley tries to break the ice with a joke, “Come here often?”

Her joke has the opposite effect, causing Emily to ramble. “Uh. LA? I’ve been here once. For a game.”

Kelley just smiles, and eventually Emily looks over and catches her eye. “You were joking.”

“I was joking.” Kelley says, smiling. Then she adds, “Trying to break the ice.”

“Like a first date.”

“Exactly.”

And Emily smiles then—Kelley’s first glimpse of her true smile; the soft, mischievous one—pushing her hair to one side and asking, “So what do you do for work?”

It’s the first bit of confidence Kelley’s seen from her and she likes it. She bites back a smile.

“I’m a professional soccer player.”

“Oh, interesting.” She says like she’s never heard of soccer, and Kelley finds herself smiling.

“Yeah, I’ve, uh… won an Olympics and a World Cup. I’m one of the best defenders in the world.” And then, like an after thought she adds: “No big deal.”

They stop on the curb then, and right as Kelley says it Emily turns to look at her and suddenly their faces are too close.

And Kelley, well—she might be caught off guard? Her heart sputters a little, and she feels her face heat up. She takes a whole step back, thrown by how blue Emily’s eyes are. By how close they were standing. By how she hadn’t noticed until then.

But whatever feeling had possessed Kelley had clearly not struck Emily the same way. She seems a little befuddled and confused by Kelley suddenly jerking back.

“Does that usually work?” Emily asks, and it looks like it’s taking Kelley a whole minute to remember what they were talking about, so Emily adds, “On a first date.”

“To get them into bed with me?” Kelley says, bluntly, and laughs a little at Emily’s shy blush, “for the most part.”

“Hmmm.” Emily says, and apparently she thinks she’s gonna get to leave it at that, but Kelley presses her with a look.

  
She responds with an innocent smile: “Oh, you know, just filing that information away for when I’ve done both of those things.”

Bold. Cocky. Kelley likes it. “Oh yeah? You think you’ll get there?”

“I know I’ll get there.” Emily says, smirk apparent, and Kelley finds herself smiling before Emily’s even finished her answer, “and when I do, people will be lining up to date me.”

Kelley rolls her eyes, and Emily smiles.

“Cocky.” Is all she says, and when she looks over at Emily she’s already smiling brightly at her.

“You love it.”

And Kelley can’t help but laugh a little at that.

\- + - + - + -

Dinner is more pleasant than Kelley expects.

That’s partially because she’s sitting far away from a pissy Alex, who unceremoniously dropped Kelley’s rain jacket on her head before taking a seat near Tobin at the opposite end of the table.

(Even pissed off, Alex was still her best friend, after all.)

It’s mostly because she’s chosen to take a seat next to Emily Sonnett, who, as it turns out, is the life of the rookie party.

Sonnett (as they call her) is a spitfire, taking nearly every word said at the table and somehow twisting it into a funny joke. She laughs big and loud and is unafraid to poke fun at Kelley even though they don’t know each other well, which really only further endears her to Kelley.

And while she’s still just twenty-two, Kelley can immediately see the person she’s going to blossom into. She’s unreasonably excited about it.

She’s felt this way about only a few people in her life before Emily—Tobin, Alex, Christen… a few others—and knows with startling certainty, watching Emily now, that she’s just met someone Important. Someone who’s going to become one of her best friends.

It feels a little like she just found a piece of herself.

She’s sort of staring at Emily, thinking about it, when Emily catches her gaze. She gives Emily her best warm smile, bumping her shoulder against hers.

(Later, Kelley will picture the shy smile Emily gave her in return and wonder why it’s burned into her memory the way it is.)

(Eventually, she won’t have to wonder.)

\- + - + - + -

When the team leaves dinner, the rain comes down harder than anyone is expecting. They’re already outside when they’re hit by a gust of wind that has everyone screaming.

And Kelley’s looking at Emily—Emily, who only has her short sleeve shirt on—and making a snap decision before she even realizes what’s going through her own mind.

“Here, take this.” She tries to hand Emily her jacket.

Emily pushes it away, opening her umbrella. “Dude, no. That’s yours. I’ve got an umbrella.”

“I’ll take the umbrella. Come on, you’ve got short sleeves.”

Emily kind of cocks her head a bit, but before she can argue Kelley’s under the umbrella, unzipping the jacket and helping Emily put it on. Emily slips one arm in and then the other, all the while facing Kelley, who tries hard to focus on the zippers, and not on how close they are under the umbrella. How she can feel Emily’s breath on her lips.

She can feel Emily scanning her face as she zips the jacket up and she keeps her eyes dutifully on the task at hand, not wanting her face to betray her racing heart. Off to one side, she hears Alex scoff.

“Aww, dressing the rookie, how cute,” she says, arm on Kelley’s elbow, “pretty sure she can zip a jacket herself.”

Kelley doesn’t want to hear that, downright refuses to, so instead she’s whipping around and facing Alex with a glare, “Can I help you?”

“Just get in the Uber, O’Hara.”

She holds Alex’s gaze for a full beat before finally relenting—it really is the right thing to do, given the circumstances—and turning to face the car. She sighs, “fine.”

“See you at the hotel.” She says to Emily, who eyes her, wide-eyed and wet and—

_—beautiful. _

(Fuck.)

“Later, Kelley.” Emily says, turning and finding Sam Mewis immediately. Kelley climbs into the car with Alex, Becky, and Hope, staring out at the rest of the team as they make their way through the rain.

She catches one last glimpse of Emily as she turns the corner, watching her walk around a puddle. And, you know, say what you will, but…

… Kelley swears Emily was watching her back.


	2. i turned my face away (and dreamed about you)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo day 2! this is set sometime during their first offseason together and again is somewhat less holiday focused, but whatever. 
> 
> using this as an excuse to give you all weird christmas songs to listen to, so today’s title is taken from “fairytale of new york” by the pogues. that song is gay history, folks. 
> 
> enjoy!

She can’t stop laughing.

“It’s not _that_ funny.” Sonnett says, and Kelley wants to stop laughing but she _can’t_.

They’re in Kelley’s car on rainy Atlanta streets, and Kelley’s in the middle of driving them to her place after spending half a day at a high-intensity training facility.

“Should I make you a snack when we get home? Dyno nuggets?” Kelley says, still riffing on the joke.

She can see Sonny trying to keep a straight face, but eventually her façade cracks a little and she’s smirking, “Fine, if you insist, _mom_. I only like the pterodactyls.”

Kelley frowns, “Don’t call me mom.”

“I just implied you were my mother driving me home from practice and you laughed,” Emily says, “why would calling you mom be any different?”

And that makes logical sense, but Kelley rolls her eyes anyway.

It’s then that she realizes that she’s taken a wrong turn. She hopes Sonnett doesn’t notice, but she does have to pull a U-turn—

“Did you just miss the turn to your own house?”

Kelley shoots her a guilty glance and now Emily’s the one laughing.

\- + - + - + -

Emily hasn’t said anything about needing to leave.

They’re spread out on the couch with snacks, watching weird cartoons on some old channel Sonnett found, and Kelley wants to ask what Emily’s plan is for the rest of the day.

But she also doesn’t want that plan to involve leaving.

She’s been toeing the line for the last half hour, waiting for Emily to say something. Wondering if the fact that Emily hasn’t said anything yet means something.

See, Kelley and Emily don’t know each other extraordinarily well. They’ve agreed to train together over the offseason, but they don’t really like, hang out one-on-one. Not usually, anyway. But Kelley wants to.

And, well, Kelley hadn’t fully planned on spending her day with Emily but now that it’s an option it’s the only thing she wants to do.

Kelley’s watching her, spread out like a starfish on the couch, trying to stick an entire chip in her mouth. Kelley’s giggling before she knows she is, and when Emily’s eyes flick up to meet hers, she bites hard into the chip, smiling.

There’s just something about this kid.

Kelley stands. “Can I get you a beer?”

“Sure…” Sonnett draws the word out, like she’s unsure, “does that mean we’re hanging out?”

“I think so?”

“Cool.” Emily says, biting into another chip. Kelley wanders back toward the fridge, taking two beers from the top shelf. She passes one to Emily, who pops off the cap and leans over to clink her bottle against Kelley’s.

“So what should we do?”

\- + - + - + -

“Like this?”

Emily rolls her eyes, giving Kelley a pointed look.

“Hey, I’m really trying.” Kelley says, shifting her stance so that it looks like it matches Sonnett’s. She’s been trying to learn a ridiculous dance routine for the better part of half an hour, and she just can’t get this one step right.

Emily sighs. She drops her hands in exasperation, grabbing Kelley’s arms and positioning them again. She’s close enough to Kelley that Kelley catches a whiff of her shampoo, and the smell of it transports her back to a memory; one from six months ago.

The two of them had been stretching side by side. Not very close together, actually.

… the memory wasn’t really about _what_ they were doing together so much as what was going through Kelley’s mind while they were doing it. She remembered carefully tracing the muscles of Emily’s back with her eyes. Watching the small movements in her jaw. Her eyebrows.

This was back when her attraction to Emily was new—back when Emily had just been called up and clearly looked up to Kelley and Kelley felt like a total asshole for staring at her like she was some kind of delicacy.

Since then she’d tried to swallow it and keep that attraction to herself.

(Every day it got a little easier.)

But then Emily does things like this: standing in front of Kelley, holding her hands like this. And somehow Kelley’s brain always goes right back to the gutter.

“Uh…” Kelley says, hesitant. Emily looks up then, blue eyes soft in confusion, and Kelley says the first thing that comes to mind:

“I’m not usually this bad at dancing. Just… all the dances I know are for two people.” Kelley’s voice comes out surprisingly steady, and it occurs to her that in most other contexts a line like that is flirtatious.

The change in Emily eyes reflects the shift in tone and mood, and Kelley’s not surprised to see her face drop into a little smirk.

It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve flirted.

“Oh?” Emily steps back, dropping her hands. “Got something you want to show me?”

“Do you know how to waltz?” Kelley says.

She’s lifting her arms before Emily starts to shake her head no.

Emily grins, offering her a dainty hand, and Kelley places a hand on Emily’s back, pulling them closer. Emily’s eyes flicker down to their feet and somehow that one hesitant action emboldens Kelley, gives her the confidence to keep going.

She starts moving, guiding Emily through it, explaining the cadence of it all. They waltz slowly, turning and swaying and looking down at their feet and it’s not till Kelley looks up at Emily that she realizes how close they are. They come to a halt and Emily looks up too, meeting Kelley’s eyes.

(A beat passes then: if this were anyone else, Kelley would already be leaning in, but…)

(God, she can’t let this happen again. She’s gotta get her emotions back in check.)

She releases Emily, backing off from her.

“So, uh, anyway. That’s how it’s done.”

She keeps her eyes on the floor, deliberately looking down and away and hoping that all of it keep Emily from seeing the panic in her eyes. When she finally has the strength to look up again, Emily’s already looking at her. Smiling.

“Thanks for teaching me.”

\- + - + - + -

“I don’t think you understand how the game 20 questions is played. You’re not just like, asking me 20 questions—“

“Whatever, it’s your turn.”

Hours have passed now, and after a movie, a couple of rounds of FIFA, and an ill-advised rainy night-walk to get donuts, it’s finally getting late. They’re sprawled out in Kelley’s bed with some light music on in the background, and Kelley can see Emily growing more and more tired.

Emily yawns, “Fine. What’s your favorite color?”

Kelley chuckles, “That’s the best you’ve got?”

“You’ve got me tired and curled up in your bed, what more do you want from me?” Emily says, turning a little to face Kelley. She leans closer, resting her forehead against Kelley’s shoulder sleepily. The comment and movement causes something uncomfortable to shift around in Kelley’s gut, and Kelley briefly shuts her eyes.

(She needs to work harder to push this whole thing out of her mind.)

“Green.” She says, and doesn’t expand on it. She shifts away from Emily a little, turning so she can see her, “Okay, my turn now, and I’m not gonna go easy on you: what are you most afraid of?”

“Ooof. It’s late, Kell.” Emily says, but sits up a little anyway. “Really?”

“Just answer the question.”

Emily shifts a little, and the contented smile slips from her face. Kelley almost regrets asking the question, watching Emily think about it.

“That I won’t live up to my potential,” she’s staring up at the ceiling as she says it, and Kelley desperately wishes she could see her eyes, “that I’ll have been the first draft pick and brought up to the national team and nothing will come of it all.”

“That won’t happen.” Kelley reaches over, taking her hand.

“I know. Not with people like you around.” Emily turns as she says this, and Kelley’s suddenly surprised at how close Emily is, how open her expression is, “I really… I’m so glad I met you, Kell. You’ve been like, my biggest supporter.”

The intensity of Emily’s gaze, Emily’s breath on her lips—it’s all just a little bit too much for Kelley. Feeling herself flush, she shifts back a bit, eyes flicking down and away from Emily’s face. “You know I love you, kid.”

Emily pulls her in for a hug and Kelley relents. Soon, though, she’s hugging back, pulling Emily closer to her with a hand at the back of her neck. She can smell Emily’s shampoo now, and has all but pulled Emily on top of her.

Her heart is hammering in her chest.

Emily pulls back eventually, still half on top of Kelley, and looks down at her with an expression that makes Kelley’s head spin a little. Kelley forces herself upright, making Emily slide off her, and laughs a little.

“Okay, your turn again.”

Emily settles back on her side of the bed, leveling Kelley with a look Kelley’s never seen from her before. She seems to think about it for a bit, eyes far away, and when she’s finally made a choice she gives Kelley a little grin.

“Fine: are you gay?”

… that’s not what Kelley was expecting.

“Uh… yeah.” Kelley swallows, and somehow she’s even more uncomfortable now than she was a few seconds ago, “I thought that was something you already knew.”

“Oh, I mean, one of the girls told me, but… I wanted to make sure.”

_Make sure_ sets off alarm bells in her mind, but before she can analyze it too much, she’s already off on another tangent, “Wait, who told you?”

Emily winces sheepishly, “Tobin.”

And Kelley takes a second to process that—tries to imagine what would’ve sparked a conversation where someone as private as Tobin told a rookie what could be perceived as sensitive information about a teammate—and while she does Emily pulls the covers up and over herself, tucking herself in.

“Are you?” Kelley asks before she can stop herself. Her heart is beating in her ears, and for some reason Emily’s smirking.

“You already asked your question.”

“What?”

“You asked who told me you were gay.” Emily says this with a wide smile, and Kelley wants to smack her.

“That doesn’t count.”

“I think it does.” Emily lifts the covers, smirk softening a little, “Come on, we should sleep.”

Kelley raises an eyebrow, “Oh, you think I’ve invited you to sleep over?” But she climbs under the covers anyway.

“Getting rid of me would require a 45 minute drive in the rain for you,” Emily says, still smiling, even with her eyes closed, “I was just trying to spare you.”

“Fine.” Kelley says, flicking off the light. “I hope you don’t kick in your sleep.”

“Nah, more likely to smother you to death.”

“Noted.”

Kelley turns over and away from Sonnett, trying hard to hold back her smile. She feels Emily shift behind her, still very much on her side of the bed.

“I am, by the way.” Emily says softly, enough later that Kelley’s already started to drift off, “Into girls.”

And Kelley can’t help but smile.


	3. ought to say no no no sir (mind if i move in closer?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the first thing i pictured when holladay street prompted me. 
> 
> i feel like i should apologize for this one? i apologize. 
> 
> chapter title taken from the infamous "baby it's cold outside" by whichever pair of idiots you enjoy the most. 
> 
> enjoy!

It’s not till the second offseason they know each other that Kelley meets Sonnett’s parents for the first time.

And she’s not like, Meeting The Parents. She’d sort of been suckered into coming over here, if she was being completely honest.

See, she’d forgotten what it was like to be twenty-three. She’d forgotten what it was like to still expect to live with your parents during the offseason; to still want to. It was really only after she was driving into Sonnett’s neighborhood that she realized she’d been routed to Sonnett’s childhood home instead of like, an apartment.

But Kelley was trying to take it in stride. She’d laughed when Emily had opened the door, watching her slip around in her socks. She’d accepted baked goods from Mrs. Sonnett and had shaken Mr. Sonnett’s hand with a grip that had given him a good chuckle, which she hoped was a good thing.

And now here she was, fighting Emily over a blanket on the couch while Emma was pulling up a Christmas movie for them to watch. Both Kelley and Emily have always been stubborn, but not quite equally—she knows that if she pushes hard enough Emily will just give it to her. But she doesn’t really feel pushy today.

Maybe it’s the snow falling just outside, or the way Emily’s eyes crinkle when she laughs, but before Kelley even knows what she’s doing she’s rolling her eyes and suggesting they just share it.

“Miss Kelley… compromising?”

Sonnett looks over her own shoulder at Emma, and then back at Kelley, “are you on your best behavior for the Sonnett fam? Because believe me, you don’t have to be. We have low standards.”

Appropriately, nobody in the Sonnett family laughs at Emily’s joke. It’s as though none of them are fazed by Emily’s antics—they all continue what they were doing as though Emily hadn’t spoken at all. It makes Kelley feel like a sucker for smiling a little.

“Just get over here.” Kelley says, lifting the blanket. Emily slides under the blanket dutifully.

Emma’s trying to figure out how to rewind a VHS, and Kelley’s mentally trying to place when the last time she’d even seen a VHS was. She feels Emily squirm beside her, putting herself a lot closer to Kelley than what Kelley thought was probably necessary in order to stay under a blanket. But who was she to argue with blanket length?

Before she even knows what’s happening the blue FBI warning is up on the screen and Emma’s turning off the lights and settling into the chair across from them. At some point Emily’s parents must slip out of the room, but Kelley completely misses it.

She’s weirdly preoccupied by the warmth beside her, and it seems to be a fixation not even something as PG as the Charlie Brown Christmas special can shake. Had Emily meant to get this close? To have their thighs touching on the couch?

And, ugh, Kelley feels like a fucking loser for thinking thoughts like these. She’s twenty-fucking-eight years old. This isn’t middle school. She groans a little and apparently that happens out loud, because suddenly Emily’s glancing at her.

“You okay?” she asks softly in a whisper, and Kelley nods.

“I hate Lucy.” She says, because that seems like as good a reason as any to groan, and Emily grins.

“_I never eat December snowflakes_. Pretentious asshole.”

Emma shushes them. Emily sticks her tongue out, turning her attention back to the movie.

And slowly, as the movie plays, Emily seems to lean further into Kelley—at first it’s slight, like it might be an accident, but eventually she’s got her head fully on Kelley’s shoulder, body plastered against hers under the blanket.

When Kelley glances down at her Emily looks comfortable, as though she’s not going through the same mental anguish that’s somehow plaguing Kelley. She’s got this warm smile on her face, and the sight of it makes something flip a little in Kelley’s gut.

Well this was stupidly inconvenient.

(Every few months this attraction flares up like eczema.)

(Every few months she buries it again.)

“Are you falling asleep?” She whispers.

“Nah.” Emily says, but her voice sounds tired.

And well, some might call Kelley crazy—and the truth is, she is a little—but rather than backing off or shying away or doing what most normal people might do in this scenario, Kelley doubles down, working her arm around Emily’s back.

She needs to work her way through this desire to have Emily close. Indulge a bit. Show herself that underneath what seemed like a sexual desire was really a very platonic desire to have Emily closer. As friends.

“What are you doing?” Emily whispers.

She pulls Emily down gently, wrapping herself around her and spooning her from behind. Emily turns to look at Kelley over her shoulder, checking if she can see before reminding her, “you know, I’m bigger than you. I can be the big spoon.”

But Kelley just waves her off, settling into the way it feels to have Emily close. They’ve cuddled before, but not like this. Not under the shade of darkness and the cover of a blanket; not for this long.

And Emily, well, she smells amazing. Kelley’s got a face full of her hair and it’s literally the opposite of a problem. She’s got an arm under Emily’s head and she can feel Emily breathing softly against it. Those breaths send shivers up her spine, stirring something in her gut, and without fully realizing it, Kelley finds herself biting her lip.

So yeah, that backfired.

She does recognize that she’s sexualizing a younger teammate—someone who clearly thinks of her as an older sister, who might find these thoughts weird and invasive and, well…

Kelley feels bad. She really does.

She’s the real adult here, and she should act like it. She was becoming a veteran player, goddammit. She was here to mentor and help grow young talent. Not… whatever her hormonal brain thought she wanted.

She shifts back a little, loosening her grip.

_There. That’s better. _

She feels Emily reach over, finding her arm, tugging on it.

“Cold.” Is what Emily says, and Kelley relents, pulling her closer.

_Hey—it’s what the kid wants. _

Plus, it’s not like she’s doing anything deliberately inappropriate.

She shifts her arm a little, breathing Emily in deeply, deciding that this is the situation she’s likely in for the next 30-ish minutes and she’s just going to have to grin and bear it.

She’s a big, cuddly older sister. One who harbors no inappropriate thoughts. One who keeps all her actions very PG.

She can do this.

Kelley feels Emily stiffen in her arms and for a moment she’s confused. She can feel the way Emily’s breathing hitches and before she’s even fully understanding the impulse she’s leaning up to look at Emily’s face and—

—that’s when she realizes her right hand is over Emily’s left breast.

“Oh, fuck. Sorry.” She says, loudly, pulling back.

She half expects Emily to laugh, but she doesn’t really, just hurriedly turns away from Kelley, and _fuck_.

She might’ve really fucked up.

Her hand must’ve been there for at least a few minutes before she noticed. And her grip, well… it wasn’t loose. She’d meant to pull Emily’s body closer and slot her hand between Emily’s side and the couch, but she’d stopped just short of that and...

… now she has regrets.

Kelley sits up, starting to pull away, but before she’s fully out of Emily’s reach Emily’s got a hand over hers and is pulling her back.

“Stop moving.” Is all Emily says.

Kelley settles back in carefully, hesitating where she might not have only a few minutes ago. Her face burns hot with embarrassment, and she briefly wishes she could just like, melt, or something. Anything to get away from this moment.

“I didn’t mean to like, _molest_ you.” She whispers.

“I got that.”

“I’m really like, into consent.”

“Sure seems like it.” Emily says, and Kelley can hear her smile.

“Sonny—“

“We really don’t have to get into it. I’m fine. We’re fine. Let’s just… enjoy the movie.”

And it takes a few minutes for Kelley to get back to a place where she can do that. Her heart is still hammering in her chest. Her senses are still overwhelmed by the smell of Emily, by the way Emily’s hand was still resting over hers, their hands rising and falling with Emily’s breathing.

Eventually though, she does settle. She lazes in Emily’s warmth, eventually finding sleep, movie forgotten.

It’s not till much later that she realizes what maybe should have been obvious:

Sure, she hadn’t groped Emily on purpose. But even if she had…

Emily had made no move to stop her.


	4. i’ll be right here waiting (for my pants to start vibrating)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so unbearably excited for y'all to read this
> 
> title taken from "text me merry christmas" by straight no chaser ft. kristen bell... aka the best christmas song known to man
> 
> enjoy!

It’s a cheat day.

Well… it’s a cheat _season_.

See, normally Kelley avoids sugar like the plague. Today she’s covered in it.

Like, literally covered in it.

She’d been trying to make frosting for her sugar cookies. And to be fair, as soon as she’d realized the bag of powdered sugar was slipping out of her hands, her killer instincts had stepped in and she’d technically caught it…

… but not before getting powered sugar all over herself.

And now, staring at herself in the bedroom mirror, she can’t help but laugh a little. There’s white all over her crotch and legs, covering everything down to her toes. She’d definitely tracked some into the bedroom on her way in, which would eventually be a bitch to clean up, but… oh well.

Kelley looks herself over, smirking. She needs a picture of this.

She pulls out her phone to see that somehow Sonnett still hasn’t responded to her last text—it’s been over 20 minutes—and frowns a little before remembering what she was doing and flicking over to the camera app.

She snaps a few photos, smiling wide and dopey, and posts them to her Instagram for her close friends to see.

Changing out of her clothes, her mind drifts back to Emily: she’s pretty sure the last thing she sent Sonnett was a question… what was the hold up? Sonnett had been answering pretty quickly before that.

She flicks open her phone to check the messages again:

**Emily Sonnett** (6:54 PM): nah that’s not really what i meant

**Emily Sonnett** (6:54 PM): anyyyywayyyy what are you up to today?

**Kelley O’Hara** (6:56 PM): Just baking some cookies. Thinking about what I’m gonna wear to your sister’s party…

**Emily Sonnett** (6:56 PM): oh dude ive got the sickest outfit planned you’re gonna love it

**Kelley O’Hara** (6:57 PM): what are you wearing?

After that, Emily had gone silent.

And it’s not like Kelley’s super invested in getting an answer, exactly. There had been a time in her life where she’d been so wrapped up in Emily, growing just a bit too dependent, a bit too engrossed.

But most of what she had maybe felt for Emily had eventually passed, and whatever spark she’d felt had been buried to make way for a real friendship. And now Kelley and Emily were so close that Kelley had a vested interest in making sure that spark stayed buried—she couldn’t risk it.

But still, sometimes, she felt things. Sometimes she could even convince herself that maybe Emily also felt those things.

… and then Emily wouldn’t answer texts.

Kelley’s phone lights up in her hand, surprising her.

She’s so excited she nearly drops it, but when she holds it upright to open it, she realizes it’s just Alex. Alex trying—once again unsuccessfully—to get Kelley to care about what she might get Serv for Christmas.

**Alex Morgan** (7:22PM): so do any of these look good

The text includes several screenshots of different styles of waffle presses, and Kelley thumbs through them as she walks back into the kitchen.

The kitchen is a wreck. Baking materials are everywhere, and there’s powdered sugar all over the floor. She’s got four different types of cookies lying out on cooling racks, and her half-made frosting is still in the food processor. Christmas songs play in the background—currently some Pentatonix medly—and Kelley hums along as she puts her phone down to grab a paper towel to wipe up powdered sugar off the floor.

After clearing the floor and turning off the oven (whoops!) she turns back to the finished cookies, examining them. Time for a taste test.

Kelley walks over to the fridge, pulling out some oat milk so she has something to dip a cookie in. She pours a little in a glass, grabbing a crinkle cookie and squishing it a little.

Her phone buzzes on the table behind her just as she takes a bite.

Sonnett.

She opens the text, bringing the glass to her lips, and then immediately does a spit take.

Sonnett sent a photo.

Not just like, any photo, either.

The photo’s taken at an angle where you can’t quite see Emily’s face, just the edge of her jaw. She’s wearing nothing but a sports bra and athletic shorts, and has one hand low on her hip, dragging the edge of her shorts down with her thumb to reveal a bit of her underwear.

Kelley drops the glass she’s holding and it shatters.

She takes a step back from the shattered glass, not really registering it. Her mind is racing.

Did Emily just… _sext_ her?

Her phone buzzes with another text:

**Alex Morgan** (7:28 PM): helllooooo I’m trying to make a choice here

Kelley flicks away from Alex and back to her text chain with Emily, and just as she’s trying to figure out what to type, her phone lights up with a phone call.

It’s Emily.

For a moment it’s like she’s frozen in place. The phone rings in her hand and Kelley’s trying to grasp at how one reacts to this situation if they’re uninterested—her brain seems to malfunction at the thought. Her breath catches in her throat as she presses the green button on the screen, and when she puts the phone up her face she’s barely able to choke out a, “Hello?”

“I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to send that,” Emily says, words hurried, “that was for someone else.”

And the words _someone else_ hit Kelley right where it hurts.

“Oooh,” Kelley tries for teasing, but something about it falls a little flat, “who’s the someone?”

Emily sounds pained when she says, “It’s, uh, nothing serious. Can we just forget this ever happened?”

“Sure, Son.” Kelley says, and she wants to make a joking comment about the photo—something in the vein of their usual banter, something to break the tension—but her heart’s in her throat.

Emily had someone else.

For all of two seconds, Kelley had thought that text was meant for her. And that thought—no matter how misguided it seemed now—had opened up something in her, some part of her that she’d buried. Some part of her that wanted more with Emily.

She shuts her eyes, breathing, and then Emily says, “I meant to send a different photo. I’m, uh… I’m sorry if I made things awkward.”

“It’s okay,” Kelley says, because she doesn’t want Sonnett to worry.

“It’s a good photo.” She adds before she can stop herself. She winces, shaking her head, thankful that Emily can’t see her face. Why the fuck was she like this?

A long, painful beat passes.

“Oh, you liked it?” Emily says, and there’s something weirdly confident in her tone now. Kelley smiles despite herself, biting her lip a little.

Better to just own it.

“I’m just saying you shouldn’t be embarrassed.”

“Fine then. I’m not.” She can hear Sonnett smirking on the other end of the phone, “Photo’s all yours. Save it if you want, I don’t care.”

“Great. Maybe I will.”

“Awesome.”

A beat passes—a beat that Kelley thinks about for the rest of the night, a beat that all-but-confirms that what just happened between them sat firmly on the wrong side of platonic—and it makes Kelley shudder a little.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back to baking now.” Kelley says.

“You do that,” Emily responds, smile apparent in her voice, “I’m gonna send you the photo I meant to send.”

“Sounds great. Bye Son.”

“Bye Kell.”

She hangs up, looking down at the mess she’s made and shaking her head. Just as she’s crouching down to grab the pieces, her phone buzzes again.

Kelley opens Emily’s text to a photo of Emily in a Santa costume, beard and all, smirking at the camera with two thumbs up. The photo immediately makes Kelley smile.

She taps it, saving it to her phone.

And then, before she can stop herself, she scrolls up and saves the other as well.

(What? She got permission.)


	5. but if you really hold me tight (all the way home i’ll be warm)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY
> 
> this is the defacto ending. tomorrow is the epilogue. get hype! 
> 
> title from the classic christmas hit "let it snow"

Kelley looks hot.

She’s standing in Sonnett’s bedroom, admiring herself in the weird sticker-covered mirror that doubles as Emily’s closet door. The dress she has on is too nice for this party, but Emily had said to “go all out and live without regrets”, so here she was in it anyway. She picks a bit of fluff off the shoulder, switching angles, wondering if her make up is too dark of if it’s just the lack of light in the room.

And then Emily enters the room dressed as Santa.

Kelley laughs, approaching Emily and adjusting the fake beard on her face. Emily squirms a little, pretending to hate it, and that only makes Kelley smile more.

“This is sexy.” Kelley says, watching Emily stand up a little straighter.

“You’re sexy.” Emily responds without hesitation, and Kelley sighs, turning back to the mirror and rolling her eyes.

(It’s hard to keep feeling guilty about wanting this kid when all she does is flirt.)

“Is it too much?” She asks, and Emily moves to hover just behind her in the mirror.

“I just told you you’re s—“

“That’s not what I asked.”

Kelley’s voice probably betrays more than she wants it to about how nervous she’s currently feeling. She’s not surprised at how quickly Emily catches on, moving behind her.

“You look great, Kell.” She says. She reaches over to lay a soft hesitant hand on Kelley’s back—lower than a friend would put it but not as low Kelley thinks she wants it—and Kelley leans into it, feeling oddly comforted.

Their eyes meet in the mirror.

Emily swallows, taking a step back. She turns to glance at Kelley’s face up close, and Kelley watches an idea take shape in Emily’s mind.

“Wait a sec…” She turns back to Kelley’s makeup, digging through it until she finds a lip color she likes, “You forgot this.”

Emily twists open the cap and holds it in her hand like she intends to apply the lipstick for Kelley, which like… what?

Still, Kelley leans so Emily can work, a little taken a back. With Kelley in heels, Emily’s not a lot taller, and for a brief moment Kelley can’t help but meet her eyes. When Emily smiles Kelley deliberately drops her gaze.

There’s something different about tonight.

Between the whole… _sexting_ incident and the way they’ve been texting this week, something has changed. Kelley can’t quite put her finger on what it is.

She doesn’t fully know if she’s imagining it—the way Emily’s touching and holding her, the way they keep catching each other’s eye, the way that thirty minutes of getting ready in the same room had left Kelley inexplicably and embarrassingly _wet, _of all things—but whatever it is, it feels too new to experiment with.

She doesn’t want to break this tension.

(…Because what if it wasn’t tension? What if it was all in her head?)

Emily finishes applying her lipstick, taking a step back and cocking her head with a smile, “There. Perfect.”

Kelley grins at her, laughing at how absolutely flustered Emily looks, “Perfect?”

If Emily’s embarrassed, she won’t admit to it. She nods again, wiping at Kelley’s bottom lip with her thumb, “Perfect.”

\- + - + - + -

The gathering is largely people the Sonnetts know from highschool, along with a few people Emma knows from still living in the general area. Kelley can tell from only a few conversations that no one here knows the Emily she knows—most of them have heard about the World Cup but none of them come close to having a sense of the sacrifice Emily (or Kelley, for that matter) made to get there. This seems to bother Kelley more than it bothers Emily, who, as expected, doesn’t seem to think she deserves much in the way of praise or attention.

They’re both a few drinks in, at least. The second beer is really helping Kelley settle in to the monotony of conversation with strangers. Emily, now on her fourth, is faring much better, finding a way to always twist the conversation and keep it light. And watching Emily command the room is all very fun, but also…

Kelley is absolutely out of place in her nice dress, and she’s mad enough to not let Emily forget it.

“I hate that you did this to me.” Kelley says as they step away from the conversation. She’s the only person in the room wearing heels, for god’s sake.

“I did _nothing_, babe. This was all you.” Emily responds. She throws an arm around Kelley’s shoulder, “besides, think about how much the room is benefitting from this situation. I’m personally benefitting quite a bit.”

Kelley gives her a little playful smack.

“You’re really something today.” Kelley comments, deliberately avoiding eye contact. _Babe_ isn’t something Emily would’ve called her a month ago.

“Today?” Emily says, cocking her head cutely.

“Fine, always.”

They make their way up to the bar and Emily releases Kelley so that she can pour them new drinks. Kelley takes a step to the side, standing kind of in the doorway, body angled toward Emily as she watches her pour.

She can tell Emily’s a little tipsy now, can see it in the way she sways a little with the bottle of champagne. She doesn’t know why Emily’s pouring them champagne of all things, but eventually Emily’s pressing a half-filled solo cup into her hands.

“So, uh…” Emily starts. Something in her expression changes—she looks suddenly serious, like whatever she’s about to say is going to change everything—and Kelley feels her heart rate spike.

“About… _us_.”

(Was this really happening?)

After years of avoiding the subject? After years of pretending there was nothing there? After a four-year-long friendship locked in a dance; a back and forth that somehow had always left them on one side of the platonic-romantic line, never daring to cross it…

Until now.

Kelley’s eyes meet Emily’s shakily, and before Emily can say anything—

“Hey! It’s Santa and her lovely—“ Emma interrupts, coming out of nowhere, cutting herself off when Emily turns to glare at her, “what? I was gonna say ‘little helper’. God.”

“Can we help you?” Emily says, and it comes out harsh.

“You’re under the mistletoe.” And its comical, the way they both look up and then at each other.

Emma doesn’t stay long, immediately making her way into the kitchen, but she’s left quite a weird tension in her absence and Kelley kind of wishes she hadn’t said anything at all.

Kelley takes a hesitant step back. Her heart is beating in her ears.

“You should kiss me.” Emily blurts, and Kelley, surprised, laughs out loud. She can’t tell if Emily’s serious. She’s a little worried that if this comes to a head Emily will laugh it off like something that doesn’t matter to either of them at all.

(But it _matters_ to Kelley.)

“I should?” She asks, and even the mention of kissing causes something to burn low in her gut.

“Come on. Just do it. It’s tradition.”

“You’re drunk.”

“I’m not _that _drunk.”

“I’m not gonna kiss you.” Kelley tells her, and Emily laughs.

If this is all some joke to Sonnett, Kelley doesn’t really want to entertain it. She doesn’t want to kiss Emily drunkenly and then laugh about it in the morning. She wants something _real_.

And looking into Emily’s eyes… well, she’s just not sure.

“Why not?” Emily says, somewhat petulant.

“You know why.”

Emily scoffs, “I don’t. But whatever it is, it’s a dumb reason.”

Kelley sighs. Before Emily can try to convince her otherwise, Kelley leans in, brushing a kiss against Emily’s right cheek.

(There, surely that’s enough.)

She pulls away quickly, watching Emily’s eyes flicker open.

“_Seriously_?” Emily all but shouts, incredulous. It’s far from the teasing reaction Kelley expected, and for a second she worries that maybe she’s actually offended Emily. She’d done it to release them from this unnecessary tension, to relieve them of pressure. There was no reason they had to kiss, after all.

But Emily just stares at her, jaw set, determined, and before she even knows what’s happening Emily is downing the rest of her drink, hastily wiping at her mouth with the back of her hand, and grunting out a, “_Fine_.”

Emily takes Kelley’s face in her hands, leaning in to kiss her.

And despite every nerve ending in her body screaming out at her, Kelley lets herself melt into the kiss. She softens against Emily, reaching up to take her hands in hers and move them down to her hips. And Emily eagerly grabs at her body in return, pulling her closer, and—

Maybe she’d been thinking about this all wrong.

Maybe she’d been too focused on their age difference, unwilling to see what was right in front of her. Maybe it wasn’t about age, wasn’t about experience or inexperience, wasn’t about societal expectations or what “the one” should look like.

Maybe, instead, it was about the look Emily had given her just before the kiss—so sure, so _determined_—and how that look exemplified everything Kelley felt, too. Maybe it wasn’t about things slotting together perfectly. Maybe it was about making it work. Growing together out of sheer determination to do so.

And maybe it sounds crazy, to think that she and Emily _belong_ together.

But when they pull apart, when Emily gazes down at her, pupils blown, hand still splayed across her hip, she knows.

(Maybe it’s crazy.)

(But maybe this could work.)


	6. epilogue: don’t read the last page (but i stay)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy christmas everyone!
> 
> enjoy this sticky-sweet saccharine piece of fluff my creative writing professor would smack me for. may 2020 bring you all peace, love, and fulfillment. 
> 
> enjoy!

Kelley’s being weird again.

And Emily hasn’t seen her for weeks, hasn’t talked to her on the phone for days… when they elected to spend Christmas apart she knew it’d be hard, but she hadn’t anticipated Kelley’s parents planning a destination Christmas (they’d gone to a resort in Hawaii) and prolonging their time apart.

So Emily had gone out of her way to grab Kelley at the airport in the middle of rush hour traffic on New Year’s Eve Eve, and for some reason, now, on the way to Mal and Dansby’s new place, Kelley was being weird.

“It’s a left turn here.”

Their drive has been all small talk—Emily trying desperately to dig deeper, Kelley dragging the conversation to back to lighter topics—and something about it feels off to Emily. She can feel Kelley in her head, barely focused on their conversation. Can see the way her knee is bouncing nervously.

They pull into a cul-de-sac of tiny townhomes, the kind Emily had always eventually pictured herself living in, and Kelley instructs her to park in a spot near the edge of the lot. She reaches out to cover Kelley’s knee with her hand.

“You okay?” She asks, searching Kelley’s eyes. Kelley smiles awkwardly, eyes dropping to her lap.

“I’m fine.”

“You sure? You’ve been all weird and jittery since I came to get you.” Emily leans closer, “You wouldn’t even kiss me properly at the airport.”

“I kissed you!”

“I said properly.” Emily leans in to kiss the side of Kelley’s face. She lets her lips linger on Kelley’s cheek, brushing her nose against it. She breathes her in deeply.

Kelley tries to pull back, opening the car door to get out.

“Wait.” Emily says. She unclips her seat belt, leaning further over the console to capture Kelley’s lips in a kiss. Kelley cuts it short, but Emily won’t let her, chasing her lips. When pulls back a second time, Emily doesn’t push her.

“What’s wrong?”

“_Nothing’s_ wrong,” Kelley says, and this time she sounds exasperated, “It’s just we told Mal we’d be there at 7:30 and it’s almost 8:15—“

“I texted to tell her we’d be late.” She really had. Mal weirdly hadn’t responded but Emily wasn’t reading into it.

“But not _this_ late.” Kelley won’t meet her eyes, and for some reason that really bothers Emily.

“Kell.” Finally Kelley looks up, meeting her gaze. “Why are you being weird?”

And Kelley rolls her eyes, all but confirming the accusation, as far as Emily’s concerned. “I’m not being weird.”

Emily climbs fully over the center console, straddling Kelley’s lap in the passenger seat and reaching over to shut the door. She would feel more apprehensive climbing onto her given Kelley’s mood, but the way Kelley’s eyes rake over her body as she does it feels like invitation enough. She settles herself in Kelley’s lap, immediately moving to kiss a line down Kelley’s jaw toward her ear.

“_Em_.” Kelley chokes out, breathing roughly. This isn’t the “Em” that means stop, so Emily takes it as license to keep going, sucking on soft freckled skin.

“Come on, we haven’t had time together in ages.” Emily nudges Kelley’s arm, trying to get her to lift it. For some reason Kelley’s are still at her sides and it’s _annoying_.

“I know. But Mal—”

“Mal can wait.” Emily says. She leans in to kiss Kelley tenderly and feels her girlfriend melt into it, softening a little. Kelley’s hands drift up to bracket Emily’s hips, and Emily topples forward a little in response, pushing Kelley’s hair out of her way.

Kelley was unnecessarily weird about relationships, Emily had decided a while ago.

A usually loud and boisterous Kelley was oddly shy and introverted when it came to all things Emily. Not that Emily was complaining—she loved nervous, shy Kelley; the Kelley who had stuttered the first time she’d called Emily her girlfriend and who didn’t initiate kisses until she was positive Emily would return them.

She loved the Kelley that kissed her like every time was the first and last time she’d ever get to. She loved the Kelley that would send her long, ramble-y goodnight texts. The Kelley that would brag about being able to bench-press her, that would tangle herself in Emily’s sheets and complain about ever having to leave her.

And kissing her now, knowing they’d get to celebrate their first anniversary together tomorrow, well…

Emily wasn’t eager to stop.

They kiss softly and slowly, purposely keeping it on the gentle and tender side of things. Emily knows Kelley’s weirdly focused on where they have to be for the first time in a long time, which seems extraordinarily unlike her, but Emily decides not to question it. Kelley eventually pulls way, leaning forward to put them nose-to-nose. Emily keeps her eyes open, watching Kelley close them as she breathes in.

“I love you.” Kelley says.

“I love you too,” Emily responds, unsure why Kelley sounds so weirdly somber as she says it. She cocks her head a little, smiling.

Kelley still looks oddly serious.

“You sure you’re okay?” She asks again, for good measure. Kelley pats Emily’s thighs, opening the car door.

“I’m fine, babe. We should go inside and see our friends.”

Emily slides off Kelley’s lap, pouting. Kelley climbs out after her, hand finding hers immediately. She laces their fingers together, dragging Emily away from her car and toward the housing complex.

And Kelley moves like she knows the place, leading Emily through an entire complex of townhomes, through a small park, and eventually up the steps to Mal and Dansby’s new place. As soon as she’s up the steps, she turns to face Emily, expression oddly nervous.

And that’s when it dawns on Emily.

“So, uh, babe…” Kelley starts, and Emily’s already smiling, “well, it’s easier if I just give you the key. Hold on.”

Kelley digs in her pocket, pulling out a small silver key on a Portland Thorns lanyard. She hands it to Emily, watching her expectantly.

“Kell, did you—?” Emily starts, looking up at the place, taking in the door and the wood paneling and the fucking _shutters_ and grinning like a madwoman. Kelley steps out of her way, smiling, watching Emily expectantly.

“Open it.”

And then Emily keys into their place for the first time.

She swings the door open to an entire surprise party gathered in their empty living room—Lindsey, Mal, Dansby, Rose, Sam, and Pat. The crew looks largely exhausted, not poised to surprise at all, and when they catch sight of Emily Dansby calls out a weak “surprise” that everyone else echoes. Emily doesn’t care that the surprised is ruined, even. She’s so overwhelmed she almost cries.

Emily’s excited to see the place—their place—for the first time. She’s already eying the high ceilings, the hardwood floors, the crown molding…

… she’s also caught wind of the pizza boxes on the marble countertop near the bay window. They’re from her favorite spot.

“Jesus, Kell,” she starts, “I—“

She stops, unable to figure out how to put into words what she’s feeling; the sheer _amount_ she’s feeling. She turns to face Kelley, tears threatening to fall, and when she meets Kelley’s eyes Kelley’s already crying.

“Move in with me?” Kelley asks softly, like she’s not already sure of the answer. Like she didn’t sink millions of dollars into a house for them both to come home to. Like their dumbass friends hadn’t flown here to witness Emily’s inevitable yes.

So rather than dignify it with an answer, Emily stumbles forward, kissing her. Their friends shout at them, laughing, but Emily can’t even hear them, doesn’t even acknowledge or process their voices. She’s too busy wrapping herself up in Kelley, daydreaming about her future.

Their future.

Together.


End file.
